Have you ever tried to pull something off at home – trying a new recipe, cleaning, organizing – and had it come crashing down around you? Sometimes I wonder if I really am part woman or part train wreck. I certainly can find my June Cleaver inner self here and there, but most of the time I feel more like I Love Lucy.
Some of my most recent housewife fails:
1) Running a Jar of Cotton Balls through the Washing Machine. Not quite sure how this one happened. We keep a few toiletries above our washer and dryer because we have limited storage space in our bathroom. But somehow the glass jar of cotton balls on the shelf above the washer fell into the machine. I’m not sure if it fell at some point and no one fished it out or if it got scooped up in a pile of dirty laundry that was on top of the dryer. But without knowing it was there last night I ran a very full load of laundry with the glass jar full of cotton balls inside. Miraculously the glass did not break. But let me tell you it took me about 40 minutes to pull bits and strings of cotton off of our clothes that got washed along with about 30 cotton balls.
2) Dying the Cop’s Undershirt Pink. This happened a few days ago. No idea what in the washer ran and caused his white undershirt to look as though he tie dyed it to wear to a Grateful Dead concert. But seeing as the cop is not really a tie dye t-shirt kinda guy this item of clothing was sent to the rag pile. Me on the other hand? I love tie dye. Evidence shown above.
3) Overflowing Banana Bread. Bananas turn brown on the kitchen counter in about 2 days flat in Savannah in the summer. So any time we buy bananas lately I feel as though we have brown bananas that we aren’t sure what to do with. So last week I made this delicious Chocolate Chip Banana Bread recipe from Shop Girl. The recipe is fantastic! I love that incorporates Greek Yogurt to lighten it up a little (I also cut down a little on the sugar used and the chocolate chips to keep it light). The recipe is great but my loaf pan is apparently far too small. Soon the banana bread was overflowing into the floor of the oven. Lesson learned. Be sure to always put a cookie sheet underneath your bread pan to avoid a long cleanup.
4) Chemical Experiments in the Bathroom. Last night I was cleaning frantically because we found out the day before we have a house guest coming to stay with us for the evening. And of course I wanted the apartment to look perfect (which it still does not). I may have gotten a little overzealous when I decided to clean the toilet. I dumped in a generous amount of Lysol toilet bowl cleaner in and just for good measure, a splash or two of bleach. Scrub scrub scrub… Huge mistake. 2 or 3 seconds later the mixture went from dark blue (and white from the bleach) to a bright yellow. And immediately the liquid gave off a noxious smell. I quickly flushed but then had to turn on 3 fans and open all of the windows to keep Riley and I from passing out on the fumes. Epic Fail.
Thank goodness the cop doesn’t expect perfection. As my friend Sarah told me once; ‘We aren’t making mistakes we are making memories’. Hopefully someday when I’m far more experienced and put together I will be able to execute household chores with beauty and refinement. Until then, we’ll keep the fire extinguisher on hand when I’m in the kitchen and keep laughing at the mistakes that come our way.